WHAT IN THE FESTIVE FECK IS GOING ON?
To celebrate this holiday season of joyful and triumphant splendor, PromoteLabs (Simon & Jeremy) have teamed up with two other crazy marketing mavericks (Stephen & JP) to offer you a dazzling confection of cool marketing goodies with a big fat discount.
IS THIS REAL?
Is anything real? Do any of us even exist? Elon Musk said 'probably not' (probably)... But YES! All of these products are actually available and they're coming your way with a Santa's Sack Sized 90% off the regular pricing... Even better, when you place your order we'll give you a mystical unlock code** where you can avail yourself of all the awesomeness. (**actually a membership username and password)
BUT THIS DEALS SEEM TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE!
We’ve made it a reality and chosen to make it true. That’s the miracle of Christmas.
SURELY YOU MUST BE LOSING MONEY ON THIS PROMOTION?
Oh you can bet your shiny baubles we are. But hey it's the holidays and we were probably drunk when this all seemed like a great idea.
WHAT IF I WAIT UNTIL THE COUNTDOWN HITS ZERO?
No pressies for you, not even a sniff of the eggnog... And you'll have no one to blame but yourself.
WHAT’S YOUR STRATEGY HERE?
Glad you asked... Did we mention we were probably drunk? Actually we'll still make a little money now, but in the long run, we hope to fill you with so much awe and gratitude you'll decide to buy more stuff from us next year. We also like to think we’re mirroring the marketing moves of our hero, Jeff Bezos.
ARE THERE ANY RENEWAL OR REPEAT SUBSCRIPTION FEES?
NO! However you are free to send us any spare cash you have lying around via mail (no rush, just whenever you're feeling flush).
IS THERE A GUARANTEE?
There are no guarantees in life... but we're better than that. So YES! You have a full 30 days from the date of purchase to get back all of your investment if we failed to make you happy or stuff your stockings to your satisfaction.
WILL YOU REALLY SEND ME THE SOCKS?
Of course, it gets pretty cold in the first few months of the year and we wanted to send you something different that would guarantee you'll keep your tootsies warm until at least April. (We suggest you wash them before then though).
You'll also be helping a great cause... Every pair of socks we send out also provides 100 days of clean water for someone in Rwanda, Africa, through our partnership with BoldSocks.com who provide clean water filtration systems and rainwater cisterns. The socks are ethically manufactured through the entire manufacturing process from the time the cotton is picked to the time the socks are stitched and packaged.
WHAT TUNE DO YOU GUYS THINK SHOULD BE #1 ON THE 25TH?
Hmmm... that's a good one, but here's what's jingling our bells right now...
Err? It's right there.